One Drink to Calm Your Jitters

I am at a KTV - a Japanese-style karaoke adventure where you are basically given a rented booth for a couple of hours so that you and your friends can sing/scream your hearts out to dozens of your all-time favorite songs. That is exactly what I am doing right now.

The projector above my head is spewing rays of blue, green and red light. The small room with lounge-type chairs has been transformed into a mini-disco and The Banker and I are singing (badly), drinking our jugs of beer and rocking out to our favorite Guns'n'Roses tune.

I am wearing a form-fitting black dress with tussles and navy blue peep-toe shoes but I am one step away from classy as I take a full swig of my beer before turning my attention back to the microphone. The Banker doesn't seem to mind that my beer almost comes out of my nose right before I chime in to sing along to the chorus in "Sweet Child of Mine".

My mission tonight is simple: I need to get buzzed enough to ask The Banker where we stand with our relationship. Ever since I discovered that I was starting to develop deeper feelings for him, I'd been aching to find out how he feels about me. Am I girlfriend material or just a date to spend weekends with? I just had to get enough beer in me first to work up the courage to ask the question.

Back at his place, I chicken out a little bit. I am feeling the butterflies in my stomach despite my remarkable ability to consume two big jugs of beer in under two hours. Despite the alcohol assumption, I am, somehow, stone-cold sober.

I tell The Banker that I need to use his bathroom but I go and shut the door behind myself just to look in the mirror and give myself a mental pep talk. Tonight HAS to be the night. I don't need to get drunk to ask, I just need to ask and be done with it. Besides, if I WAS drunk right now, I'd probably puke from nervousness.

Back in his living room, I take a full breath, and before I have a chance to chicken out again, I slowly drag words out of myself:

"Soooo.... I've got a question for ya..."

No going back now. Just breathe and keep talking, damn it!

He says, "Yeah? What's up?" and looks up at me from the couch.

"I gotta ask you this... Because I was just wondering... Where do we stand in terms of this whole dating thing? Are we serious? Are we just chilling?"

I try to sound casual but, on the inside, I am finally thankful for those two jugs of beer I drank earlier. They are mellowing me out enough to stop me from being a complete emotional wreck or from studdering too much. Dare I say it, I actually DO sound like, oh, it's no big deal.

"I was waiting for you to bring this up," he says without hesitating, "You know when you just moved here and we started seeing each other, I told you I was looking for a serious relationship. I wanted to give you time to get acclimated with Singapore - a new city, let alone, a new continent. I figured you need some time to make your own friends and establish life here before we developed anything serious."

I hang onto his every word, "Uh huh..." I simply say when he pauses.

"So do you want to make this official?" he smiles.

"Uh huh." I say. I'm speechless but throw my arms around him and hold onto him tightly, as if afraid that he will change his mind and run away. He hugs me back and I look up into his eyes. I feel myself beaming with happiness and, for a moment, I make myself slightly sick with all this lovey dovey-ness and want to tell myself to "get a room."

And just like that, I am no longer single. And while my single life rocked my socks off while it lasted, I am happy to report that being called someone's, no, not someone's.... being called The Banker's girlfriend feels, excuse my language, fucking peachy!