Saturday, September 29, 2007

Sometimes When I'm Bored...

...I write poetry. Mostly it's because I'm overwhelmed with emotions and I have no one around me to confide. This time I was listening to Pandora radio and You Got Me by The Roots came on. This song is one of the most meaningful to me, not only because it talks about a potentially lost love opportunity and Philadelphia - two things I know a lot about, two things that often came hand-in-hand, but also because it's just such a damn good song. So after I listened to the song, I was inspired to write the following:

An Architect's Melancholies

Somebody told me that this planet was small
we used to live in the same city, practically next door
And never met before until I'm in a different state, apart
and when I left, I left you pieces of my heart

My hands and heart are cold, and you I try to quit
these thoughts of you still linger, though I can't admit
to anyone how much I need you, that I even could
and try to put you first before a block of wood

Or metal beam, mahogany, or sunlight's gleam
or Gesso, Autocad and travertine
but let me down to Earth and listen
This planet might seem tiny from a distance

But as I look up to the stars that twinkle
you're gone, light years away, you're just a wrinkle
in folds of memory that fade with time
but oh my god, how do I wish that I could make you mine

my thoughts are my best time machine
and back to Philly I transport within
I find your place, you smile as you see me at the door.
All else? Irrelevant. I couldn't ask for more.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Football, anyone?

I am going to my very first football game EVER tonight. Isn't it crazy? I've never been to a single football game, college or pro. Perhaps, it's because the school I went to for my undergraduate degree did not have a stellar football team, but then again, I should have went and showed my support anyway, right?

Regardless of my past wrong doings, I am going to make it all right tonight and show my loyalty to my new home - the University of Cincinnati and the sports team that everyone worships here - the Cincinnati Bearcats. I even bought and shirt with the team logo on it.

I just wish I wasn't still recovering from last night's drinking and carousing. But I swear, I shall gather all my strength and be the best college football fan I can be. Go Bearcats!

Now if you excuse me, I must go straighten my hair, cover up a blemish with my concealer and birghten up my face with a moderate amount of blush. For you see, a certain guy is going to be working at the game tonight, and if I run into him ("accidentally", of course), I want to make sure that I am the prettiest Bearcat fan in his immediate vicinity.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Say It Right

I answer. “I knew it was love because it was enough to just be in love with him, you know? I didn’t care at all if he loved me back because just the feeling loving him felt so good.”

-Anonymous Blogger

There once upon a time was this boy...

He had killer dance moves, a radiant smile, a badass style, and amazing-smelling hair. At least, I think his hair smelled amazing... I never got that close to him to find out.

He made my heart skip a beat every time I saw him and I would go places I knew he went to, just to watch him from afar. He was the one who told our only mutual friend that he thought I was cute. I found out about it and I thought to myself, "Fuck, why do I have a boyfriend? I really like this guy." Yes, I had a boyfriend at a time but that night when I found out this other guy liked me, I regretted being in a relationship more than anything in my life.

In my defense... well, there's nothing really I can say in my defense. It was what it was. I developed the biggest crush on a guy who was not my boyfriend. But, the boyfriend and I had other problems before the new guy came along. I suppose, it was just the universe's way of confirming that I no longed wanted to be in a relationship. But I shouldn't be making excuses.

I broke up with the boyfriend, because I couldn't get the guy with killer dance moves out of my head. He lingered on my mind pretty much 24/7, and I was unable to think about anything or anyone else. All of the sudden, I became an irrational ball of emotions. Every Monday I wished it was Friday already, so I could go to the club down by the river to see him there. When we did see each other, we usually exchanged a few words, a couple of glances, and just once, a dance. He told me me I looked damn good in my halter top that night and I was impressed that he noticed my new shoes. He liked me, I thought while laying in my bed that night unable to fall asleep. Goddamn, he was the most gorgeous man I had ever laid my eyes on.

Then, in a blink of an eye, it was over. The guy was apparently over me, and summer of '06 was over as well. The club down by the river closed for the fall and since it was the only place I knew that the guy with the killer moves went to on a regular basis, there was no way for me to see him again.

I guess, in a sense, he wasn't anything special. We didn't have an emotional connection, and we never shared even a single substantial conversation. It was a one hundred percent physical attraction, and before meeting him, I would have laughed at the very notion of me falling for someone based on purely physical attributes.

Does this make me a bad, superficial person? I don't know. I don't feel like I've done anything wrong. Some may say that I sacrificed a long term relationship with a boyfriend for someone I barely knew. But I say that (I'd like to believe that) it all happened for a reason - I needed to be single. Single life's been good to me, and this past year was definitely the best year of my life. Albeit my sex life became pretty much nonexistant. Nevertheless, the break-up was a good idea; the reasons for it may not have been.

So, how do I feel about the guy with the killer dance moves now? It took a long ass time for me to get over him. Took me too long to give up the hope that he might start pursuing me again. I miss the idea of him. That idea of a hot boy next door who might, just might, be my potential soulmate.

Thursday, September 13, 2007


A substantial update is coming soon, as I have finally moved to Cincinnati and am now pretty much driving myself bonkers with registations, miscellaneous errands, money transferrals, and other crap. For now, however, I would like to relay one of my first encounters with the male species of this fine city. A gem of a pick up line, if you will... he says to me:

" In Old Testament times, the bowels were considered the seat of the emotions. Imagine what kind of pickup lines they used.

Baby, you really move my bowels."

How swell, no?

Oh Cincinnati... I think, after all the commotion settles down and I meet a few new friends, I'm gonna like it here. Only time will tell.