Friday, August 5, 2011

A Big What If...

There was one fine day in the middle of May when I checked my application status to Georgetown MBA and, after having been waitlisted for two months, I finally saw the words I so longed to see:

"Congratulations! We would like to welcome you as a member of the Class of 2013"...

But I was already in Singapore, for my work trial here in this far far away country. Oceans away from Georgetown, and DC, and America, for that matter.

So, I decided to waste away the money I had spent on b-school prep courses and the time I had spent preparing for my GMAT and writing my essays, and I said "No" to Georgetown.

Should I have changed my careers? The funny thing is, after all the hoopla and after so badly wanting to have been accepted to that prestigious university, I didn't feeling like getting my MBA was my calling. I was not excited. Proud, yes, for getting in. But not excited.

But if I hadn't picked to go Singapore, I could have been closer to Mr J. I would have never met The Banker (who I am on the fence about...) and I would have never lied to Mr J about The Banker (or the fact that I am not seeing anyone here). I could have been closer to my friends and family, only a three hour car-drive away. I wouldn't have had to sell my Jeep. I could have gone to my best friend's fiance's bachelorette party in Vegas. I could have....

Some decisions are really a big leap of faith. I am still trying to figure out if my decision to move thousands of miles away from my friends and loved ones and give up Georgetown was the right one.

Singapore is, amazing, after all. But my heart will always long to be closer to home sweet home.


GirlX said...

There's always the "what ifs" in life and the grass is always greener (at least for me) on the other side.

I think if you took the other path, at some point you'd be doing the same thing now. "What if" I went to Singapore and followed that path instead?

I believe you're right where you should be. If your relationship with Mr. J lasts through all of this, you're meant to be together. While I don't condone cheating, if I were in your shoes I'd be doing the EXACT same thing in the exact same way. Pre-planned and all. I really think it will help you to decide one way or the other about Mr. J. It could end up being a good thing with the banker, it will show you which relationship path to take. Then you can do the "what if" again down the road... :) hehe.