Chocolate and Heineken

..or as I like to call it - my dinner of choice in Singapore.

When you live in a hotel room, in a close proximity to touristy gift and snack shops, I can't be bothered to go anywhere and explore any more of the city than I really have to. This week, every dinner, it's been a gourmet selection of Dove chocolate bars and Heineken and Budweiser (U! S! A!) beers. I am quite a picture of healthy living these days.

I might switch up my evening diet for something a little more delicioso as, I think, I had found a perfect place to call my home. I'm hoping to sign my tenant agreement as soon as tomorrow as say "Peace out!" to this hell hole of a hotel room, where a decent internet connection is as hard to find as a fountain of youth.

The place that I had the pleasure of viewing yesterday and that I'd like to call my home soon is a little townhouse in the middle of a beautiful neighborhood in the heart of Singapore. See, with Singapore being one of the top 5 cities in the world known for expensive living, it is nearly impossible to afford a place to live without having any roommates. The cheapest apartment for one is around $5000 USD a month. Yes, a motherfucking month! That's almost as much as I had been spending on my one bedroom apartment in Cincinnati, freaking Ohio. But I digress.

The potential roomies are an American/French couple, and a French girl. They don't believe in TV, are sickeningly into art and alcohol, and like to party hardy after a long day of work. In other words, they sound like my kind of people (though, I will be watching Jersey Shore on my computer as soon as the new season starts!)

As for chocolate and Heineken... say what you will, but it's better than some of the food choices I had encountered in Singapore thus far. I mean, I am one of the most adventurous people when it comes to trying (and loving) new culinary creations, and I keep hearing how Singapore has the most diverse and unique food scene in the world (allegedly). But I am just not seeing it! I've had some rather questionably-tasting meals here, and the only food that I had enjoyed thus far were chicken rice and anything Western.

I know, I know. I sound like I'm being close-minded, but I am trying! Week 1, though.... so far, not so good in the culinary aspect.

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Time to Hang Up My Clubbing Shoes... and Sign Up for The Next Round of Bingo...

...Because I am turning 27 today, bitches!

I'm joking about Bingo though, for the most part. I am not one of those people who bathe in self-pity on their birthdays and reminisce about the years less ravaged by time. Yessir, I feel more fabulous than I did one, or two, or three, or four years ago. I also feel content with the person I am becoming, for the most part. And, for the most part, I am looking ahead to the years to come. Also, I probably would rather hit myself over the head with a shovel than engage in a game of Bingo, and I think I will retain this sentiment even when I am an eighty year old woman.

I've got a bunch of money from my parents and from the sale of the car. Always a great gift, especially when one of my number one goals in life right now is to pay off my student loans as soon as possible so I can start saving money for important things in life, like cars, houses, and Portuguese pool boys.

It almost feels like an outer body experience telling people that I am 27. I remember when I considered 24 as "old" and when I was telling my friends that I was not so afraid of turning 30 as I was turning 27, because it was the age that I'd imagined I'd start feeling my twenties slip away, slowly but surely.

Today, I agree with nothing but the last part of the last paragraph. I do feel like I am beginning to see the end of my twenties, though I am not longer scared of this nor do I view 27 as being "even more old than 24".

I also didn't think I'd still be writing this blog. Guess some things never change, after all!

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Reality

Tomorrow I'm flying to Chicago to see my love(r) before I fly to Singapore for my job gig for what right now seems like a zillion of years.

I kind of don't want to go. To Singapore that is.... Call it whatever you want, call it cold feet. Call me a wimp. I mean, after all, I was pretty damn excited for, like, the last two months or so, ever since I found out about this international job opportunity. So what the fuck happened?

It's not like I think I am making a mistake and should have never chosen to move across the world in the first place.. It's just this never ending feeling of bitter-sweetness as I'm saying goodbyes to my friends, my family, the guy I love is becoming almost unbearable.

I don't want to lose the relationships I have with the people I hold so closely to my heart... and I know that some will remain close friends despite us being oceans apart. But others will inevitably drift away, fade out with time, or will simply forget about me whether or not I want them to.

Suck it, life. Sometimes you can be such a bittersweet bitch. And, sure, sometimes I can be such a near-sighted simpleton and not see the bigger picture... how this is good for my career and how I am basically moving to a fun, exotic location and will inevitably make new friends and blah bah blah... But still.

It just sort of sucks to finally face reality and no longer talk about moving like it's some hypothetical idea. Because I am basically packing up most of my shit and arranging international shipping and canceling my gym memberships and telling my cell phone company that I'm moving and I need to cancel my data plan. And it's becoming more real than I'd ever thought it'd become.

It also sort of sucks that I already know that the last day of this trip to Chicago will be me realizing how much I heart the guy and me fighting back the tears like I usually do before our goodbyes....

Only I've never said goodbye and I then jetted off to live in a foreign country before...

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