I get it. I, after all, wasn't born yesterday and I am certainly not a naive little girl any more. Well, not most of the time.
Mr Unavailable - my lovely friend who has a girlfriend - and I went out last night with a bunch of my friends, mot of whom are guys. Now, I know that men act and talk slightly differently when they are around other men, as opposed to women. But it seemed like, for whatever reason or maybe no reason at all, Mr Unavailable decided that it was the perfect night to let his inner asshole come out in all of its shiny glory. Not only did he let it come out, he seemed to shove it in my face on numerous occasions.
Now I understand that technically, my feelings of hurt came from underlying jealousy. Even though I say he's my friend, there is that unspoken attraction there. Although I say I am not a jealous person, there is a line where a guy's actions don't even make me jealous any more, they become borderline disrespectful.
I must reiterate again that my feelings may be completely unjustified. This morning I talked to one of my friends who was out with us last night and I mentioned to him that Mr Unavailable was being an ass. His response was, "Really? I didn't think he was being that. Did he say anything to you that made you think that?"
Well, no... but actions speak so much louder than words:
1) He was going out of his way to look at every single girl at the club. And by look, I mean stare. And stare and stare and stare, and as the girl would pass him by he'd turn around and follow her with his eyes. What an ass.
2) He asked me if my friend's semi-girlfriend was single. When I said, "No, she's not." He goes, "Oh... well, she's very nice." Yeah she is but... you're fucking kidding me, right?
3)He's going away on a business trip to Atlanta and LA for three weeks, and as he decided to loudly relay to one of my guy friends, he's going to act like "a total asshole in every city I go to, because no one knows me there. And we're gonna go to so many strip clubs - it's gonna be awesome." Why wait til you go to another city, Mr Unavailable, you're ALREADY acting like a total asshole NOW. Congratulations!
I am more than aware that if I had no feelings for him whatsoever, I would have cared less if he did all those things in front of me. However, as much as I want to draw that line in the sand that says, "We're just friends and, therefore, we're allowed to hit on and like whomever we please.", I no longer can. Like, who am I kidding? I think it would be hard for almost anyone to keep their feelings in check when just the night before I was receiving text messages from him telling me how "hot" and "tempting" I was.
At one point of the night, I had had enough. I started looking around the club and my eyes met the gaze of a fairly cute guy dancing a few feet away from me. I smiled at him. Taking it as an invitation, he made his way over to my group of friends and introduced himself to me.
"Are you dancing with your boyfriend?" he asked me, his eyes scanning the guys in my group.
"Haha," I laughed effortlessly, "I don't have a boyfriend."
It was time for Mr. Unavailable to get hit with a reality check. He stood helplessly, as I gave the cute guy my number and he promised he'd call soon. Will he? I don't know and frankly I won't be crying myself to sleep if he never calls me. I had to turn the tables on Mr Unavailable for just a few moments. All I needed was to let him know that sometimes it's not fun to feel like you're being treated like crap.
After we left the club, I drove everyone home, as I was the designated driver and I let Mr U stay at my place for a few minutes as he sobered up and got ready to drive his car home.
"Your friend's girlfriend is really nice," he echoed his earlier statement.
Again, an urge to punch him in the face came over me for the N-th time that night. "Yeah, she is," I said flatly, instead. We shoot some shit for a bit, talking about this and that, all the irrelevant crap that I could care less about. He bitches and moans about his girlfriend and how he's got a tough decision to make. How tough, buddy, you can't have your cake and eat it too.
As he was about to leave, he hugged me goodnight and said he had an amazing time.
I texted him this morning to wish him a safe flight and a fun time in Atlanta. (Go look at all the strippers in the ATL, for all that I care, you bastard) He replied with a cute smiley face, saying thanks and how wonderful of a night he had last night and how he will call me later on this week.
Don't. Fucking. Bother.