Friday, December 9, 2011


I like boys
They like me
They look so good
in they jeans

Want you to be the one
And my on-ly
I wanna be faithful
But I can't keep my hand out that cookie jar

I am conflicted. And the fact that it is eternal summer here, and my man isn't say the things that I want him to say, and that the temptation is always there is not making things any easier.

I am just sort of feeling that he is full of secrets. Not a lot of secrets, but just some that he does not want me to know about.

Like the girl that wrote on his wall for his birthday yesterday..:

"happy birthday, babe. It was great seeing you in Chicago. x"

Okay she could be a friend, but not a lot of MY friends call ME babe. Well, I guess, she's not even that pretty. Or at least that's what I keep telling myself to keep away from feelings of jealousy. But still...

And I would not call any of my non-single friends "babe". Just saying.

Don't get me wrong. I want this guy more than anyone else in the world. He just has to show me more sweet, sweet loving, loving.

Otherwise, it's not like there aren't any other viable options for extracurricular entertainment...

I'm just saying.


Fluffycat said...

Does his Facebook status say that he's in a relationship? Even if she's putting that up there, she's gotta see that and take a step back.

GirlX said...

Good point, Fluffycat. What does his Facebook status show?

I know you want to see the best in him, but I personally feel you're seeing all you need to. It's just hard to face. I've learned over the years to listen to my instincts. Despite that, I still ignore them at times and chalk it up to insecurity or jealousy.... but every time I've done that I have regretted it later. It turned out EVERY time that I was right all along.

IMHO, no one calls anyone babe unless there's something more going on. I have male friends, NEVER do I call them that regardless if they're single or not. On top of that, I believe she was trying to make her presence known by posting out there and it was no accident that she used those words.

I've dated too many of them... and I've been burned. Where there's smoke, there's usually fire. Just be careful.

All of that aside, what does it hurt for you to have a little fun of your own?

P said...

I think some people just have the word babe as their common vernacular. It may not mean anything to them and they may use it with ANYONE, male/female/animal etc.

That being said, I can't help but feel that your heart isn't really in this. Me and my ex got back together two weeks ago - he almost immediately changed his mind again but we tried. But it was almost like my heart wasn't really in it and I didn't really get excited about it or anything because I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. And I was right. It still hurt, but I unconsciously hadn't invested myself too much, so I was able to protect my feelings a little.

Different situation, i know, but it sort of reminds me of you.

Laundramatic said...

Fluffycat - good question. we both don't have anything as a status, meaning there is just no indication of a relationship status on either one of our profiles.

GirlX - I hear ya, believe me. And that is why I am remaining guarded. He's never done anything suspicious around me. I even have his apartment code so if I was feeling psycho, I could always go and look at his stuff for evidence. I don't believe he's fooling around with anyone else... I just sometimes wonder whether he's told people about me. Those people that are close to him that I haven't met.

P - I know what you mean and I agree with you on some level. I don't think my heart is fully into it because I am trying to protect myself. I was really opening up to him right before I found out about his whole online profile thing. Now, I am cautiously optimistic at best. I am still optimistic though...