Wednesday, December 16, 2009

A Moment of Bliss

I am having an amazing time with Mr J this week. The moment I saw him for the first time in almost four months, the old feelings just rushed back and over me like a wave.

It is so incredibly sad to me that Friday will be the last day I will get to see him and then another long break for... three, four, five months... God knows how long it will be until I see him again and what events will occur until then. And then after I receive my master's and, hopefully, move the hell out of Ohio.. God knows where I will end up, how far away from him. And he might be moving elsewhere as well, as he wants to transfer to a better law school.

Mr J is tip-toeing around the subject of commitment, which is not making me a happy camper even though I know he's probably right in staying away from making any attachments. He said things like, "I don't have the time to date in law school. " - and I know what he means. But then he also said, "I missed you so much. I wish I could come home from classes every day and see you." - and I know what he means.

I've never felt anything even close to what I'm feeling for him. It feels so good and it feels so heart-breaking... and I am just trying to enjoy every moment of it for now and not dwell on the negativity.

I just hope that the bastard sticks around until, at least, May when we both, hopefully, finalize our futures and can make the decision of whether or not we can be together after all.

I just don't want him to get away...


P said...

Keeping my fingers crossed for you both!

mushashii said...

hope things work out for both of you.