Friday, May 23, 2008

[Not So] Former Crushes

I am off to a huge party tonight that my friend is throwing and I'm bringing a new guy with me. This new guy... is tall, cute, intelligent. There is just one problem - I don't know if I'm that into him. There is no reason for me not to be, it's just that sometimes I wonder if he's my type.

There is also another problem. The Artist will be making an appearance at the party and I can't help but wonder... am I bringing the new guy with me so that I can enjoy his company, or is this, instead, some pathetic attempt to make The Artist feel a pinch of jealousy when he sees me with someone else?

I am afraid I am not entirely over my teensy weensy crush, and I am afraid that once I see the man at the party, my buried feelings will come back to haunt me. I mean, if it was entirely up to me, The Artist and I would be having a hot, passionate relationship right now. But, sometimes, sadly, some things are not up to me, nor will they ever be.

But... Perhaps it doesn't matter if my crush will be present at the party tonight. I will have a new guy to distract me, after all, and I KNOW, oh I know, that he likes me. However, something tells me that I will need to go out of my way to pretend that I don't care about The Artist any more. I will need to play it cool, without looking too cold to an observing eye.

Regardless of my superficial dilemma, tonight promises to be interesting, to say the least.