Thursday, December 10, 2009

Whatever Happened to Mr H...

There is a curse that I, sometimes, feel hangs over me like a dark, ominous cloud. I try to ignore it because I feel like if I concentrate on it too much, it can prompt me to sabotage any budding relationships I might be developing. But, ever so often when I meet a new guy, I can't help but think of "The Three-Week Curse" as I call it and the consequences it may have on my love life.

The Three Week Curse is the uncanny ability for a perfectly-fine romantically-inclined relationship with a guy to go completely down the drain - all in a matter of a three week period. The countdown begins with a first date and never fails to manifest itself exactly twenty one days later. Sometimes I foresee the end from a mile away, sometimes I just sense that something is going awry, and sometimes I have no damn clue as to what, in God's name, went wrong.

Case Study #30 - Mr H:

Things with Mr H started off wonderfully. Sparks and chemistry were present from the get-go as, I think, we were equally smitten by each other when we met through my friend at a bar. He contacted me on Facebook shortly after our initial meeting and we set up our very first date a week later.

Sushi and wine - it was a picture-perfect first date, and Mr J was nowhere on my mind. It was a great start to what I thought would be a new, Mr J-free chapter. I was willing and ready to put myself out there again, and there one no one better to do it for than Mr H.

Our first week "hanging out" was just as perfect as our first date... as it is always the case in Week One of the Three Week Curse. This is the week when a guy is willing to do anything for me. I am talking, he wants to make long-term plans (like start booking a cruise together four months in advance), introduce me to his parents (fast, sure, but a nice gesture nevertheless) and, basically, see me every waking moment of every day.

Week Two rolled around and things were still great on the dating front. This was the week when I drove up North to check out Mr H's apartment for the first time, as he lives one hour away from me. He had a lovely, quaint place and I had a ball with him - a great dinner at a cute little restaurants, a couple of drinks afterward, and he even introduced me to some of his friends at his usual hang-out spot. Things were moving along nicely with Mr H, but in the back of my mind, I still knew not to rush anything sexually because I still had to survive...

Week Three... when everything still seems fine on a surface, nevertheless, some warning signs begin to exhibit themselves and point to a sad conclusion that a once hard-to-extinguish flame is now dying off. For example, during Week One and Two, Mr H infallibly would text me every day. just to ask me how my day was going. In Week Three, he skipped two days and though he finally came around, I remember voicing my concerns with the situation to one of my best friends who is familiar with my Three Week Curse.

Shortly after Week Three was over, it started becoming more and more evident that Mr H and I were not meant to be. Even though I saw him once during the fourth week, he began making excuses as to why he was busy to drive out and see me. While this went on for about two weeks, the back and forth exchanges of "What are you up to this weekend?" and "Oh, I've got a pile of work I have to take care of. Can we hang out next week?" I knew very well where it was all heading.

I consider myself an expert at the dating game at this point, so as not to be played for a fool I quickly called Mr H out, "Hey listen, I don't know if you just don't like me as much any more but it seems that you've been avoiding seeing me lately. Just tell me if that's the case because I don't want to be lead on."

He responded with the all-telling, "I still like you a lot, it's just that this long-distance thing is really hard."

That was all that I needed to hear. Bam. Done. I had to move on immediately. "Well thank you for being honest," I replied and closed that chapter once and for all.

No drama, no petty shiftiness, I was still, nevertheless, disenchanted with another guy who just wasn't in it for the long run. I did not invest myself too much emotionally into the whole thing, precisely because of the fear that this shit would occur. But I still had high hopes that, perhaps, this guy would finally break the three week curse.

I am not saying that every guy I've ever dated lost interest in me after three weeks - it's almost every guy that I had really amazing chemistry with that tends to do this to me. It is almost as if.... the less I care about a guy, the more he is willing to stick around and beg for my attention.

With that being said.... I get to see Mr J in three days! Can't wait to see how that goes...

P.S. @ 11:41PM:

And just like that Mr H texts me with, "Hey, how have you been? I miss hanging out with you."

Oh Mr H... girls don't wait around for shifty guys to make up their minds. Girls move on.
I've moved on, my dear.

1 comments:

P said...

If its any consolation, I know exactly how you feel. When I meet a guy and they like me as much as I like them, they want to see me a lot at first, contact me, do anything for me . . . but within a matter of weeks (sometimes months, if I'm lucky) they start to drift away. Maybe I just really know how to pick 'em, but it's unbelievably frustrating!

Good luck with Mr J!